Sitting in a siding, with bugger-all to do
the engine goes to sleep while we both admire the view.
Sleepy summer morning, when nothing is heard
save the mooing of a moo-cow, the twittering of a bird.
Isn’t it delightful, miles away from Crewe
Sitting in a siding with bugger-all to do.

Sitting in a siding, oh ain’t the Summer sweet?
While we watch the world go by, we’ll have a bite to eat
Here beside the “Premier Line” for that’s indeed its boast
we’ll utilise its ingine for making tea-and-toast.
“Me wife’s forgot me bacon – can I scrounge a bit from you?”
While sitting in the siding with bugger-all to do.

Our ingine’s just as useful as a rather broken leg
But to give the old girl credit, she can fry a tasty egg.
And there’s water in the boiler. “It’s on the boil, I trust?
So hand me down me brew-can. Who minds a bit of rust?”
Oh isn’t it delightful, when you wet a brew
Sitting in a siding with bugger-all to do.

The gurgle of the boiler’s the only tiny sound
in the sleepy Cheshire countryside. For miles and miles around
the cows are contemplating as they see the likes of you
– Whoever makes a profit for the L.N.W.?
Well, SOMEONE makes a profit for the L.N.W.
While we’re sitting in a siding, with bugger-all to do.

For the Signals give a warning to the morning everywhere
for double-headed on the train, a black-and-shiny pair
come shattering the silence into wonder at the power
as they thunder up from Manchester at eighty miles-an-hour
with their Firemen sweating buckets, aye … but rather THEM than you –
you’re sitting in a siding, with bugger-all to do.

A “Claughton” and a “Jumbo”, oh what a shining sight,
A string of purple carriages in trim of milky-white.
A Diner full of “Cottontots” sitting down to dine,
as they speed away to London – to buy the bloody Line …?
Well, we’re eating bacon butties, and we’re drinking Chateau Crewe …
– But we’re sitting in a Siding … With bugger-all to do!

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